Dear GH: We Need to Talk

"Could someone give me some lines, please? Because I've got a Nurse's Ball to plan. Thanks." - Lucy
“Could someone give me some lines, please? Because I’ve got a Nurse’s Ball to plan. Thanks.” – Lucy

Dear “GH,”

We’ve been friends a long time. A long, long time. Actually, I’ve kind of known you longer than most of my friends. Which is a really scary thing to admit. Since we have a history, I think it’s ok to speak (ok, write) frankly to you. Here’s what I’m thinking today.

MORE: “Dear GH: We Need To Talk”

I love it when you promote a cause (Shriners Hospitals), but I’m finding it really awkward the way you’re making everyone clearly say “Shriners Hospitals for Children.” And do people really wear those silly hats at the hospital? Inquiring minds want to know.

I’m having some trouble being worried about Spencer since, honestly, he seemed fine with just a burn on his face. And he was in the middle of the room, away from any flames during the super fake fire.

I’m loving Nicholas as the concerned dad. Cuter than ever. Even though I’m sort of mad at him for keeping secrets and screwing up the election. Poor Felicia hasn’t had a job (or real air time) in years—this was her big chance.

And by the way, I’m not really buying that suddenly Nicholas turned the tables on Helena after she had him by the you-know-whats. Suddenly, she is in prison on Cassadine Island (why do Cassadines only live on islands?) and not an issue.

General Hospital Michael
“Who’s your daddy?” – Michael

I’m really annoyed with Michael for trying to get custody of a baby he had no interest in at all and didn’t even hold until she was forced into his arms in the courtroom hallway. Tricky play, Michael, getting the judge switched. And I really do like Rick and Sonny playing on the same team, but I’m always waiting for Rick to slip up and be evil again.

I’m tired of people being handcuffed to beds. Can we be done with this soon? Franco, Julian, and Jake. It’s like you’re trying some weird “Fifty Shades” tie in. First it was “Orange is the New Port Charles” with all the jailhouse shenanigans. Now we’re into handcuffs. What’s next, a “House of Cards” coup?

As always, I love, love, love Carly, and having her together with Sonny is nice. But inquiring minds want to know, isn’t Josslyn going to have trouble adjusting to the baby that Carly is fawning over? I’m waiting for her to go all Children of the Corn over Avery. We all know Joss is a future serial killer.

Alexis is also one of my faves, and one of the reasons I love her is because she is not skinny. She probably is by real people standards, but next to the stick figures you parade across the screen, she is comfortingly shapely.

But Julian again? I don’t understand how she went from “I can’t be with you if you’re in the Mob” to “Oh, you’re in the Mob, but you’re hot, so I’m in.” And why exactly is he back in the Mob? No one is forcing him, so why, Jules, why?

"Hi, GH? Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for making me a real woman with a real body. Appreciate it." - Alexis
“Hi, GH? Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for making me a real woman with a real body. Appreciate it.” – Alexis

Thank you for bringing Spinelli back. I adore him, and he suddenly has a backbone, which is nice. This Maxie/Nathan/Spinelli triangle could be interesting. I’m worried that Maxie (Kirsten Storms) is looking really thin again, so please keep an eye on her health.

Luke Spencer
“Who am I again today?” – Luke

Now, GH, we need to chat about a few issues. No more recycling of plots please. Luke has multiple personalities. Great, because we just did that with Connie/Kate. Yawn.

And Olivia is preggers, and Ned is lying that he is the dad. Not only did he do this with Alexis years ago, but we just did this with Britt and Brad and Patrick. I want new stuff, not old stuff with new people.

I also just want to register a plea to let Sam wear real clothes. The white T-shirt/black bra look is old. I don’t need to be able to clearly determine her cup size through her shirt. Let her dress like a grown up for once.

General Hospital Sonny
“Someone get me a razor. Now.” – Sonny

Well, GH, you’ve still got your hooks in me because I’m wondering, when will we find Patricia and what will she reveal about Luke? Will Michael win Avery, and what will Ava do about it?

When will the Jake/Jason secret come out so Patrick and Sam will have to break up? And when will Lucy Coe begin Nurse’s Ball prep? Because I miss her, and I worry because you haven’t given her a job or any lines in forever.

Are Milo and Epiphany still dating? Will Danny be 12 the next time we see him? And I can’t help but think about Lulu’s frozen embryo that the Cassadines probably did something creepy to. When will that re-emerge? Will Sonny shave again soon?

So many questions, so few answers. I’m waiting to hear from you, GH.


3 responses to “Dear GH: We Need to Talk”

  1. Tes Avatar

    So glad I’m not the only one who wants a wardrobe upgrade for Sam! And for every female on the show-how about letting them dress like it’s winter in upstate NY, where Port Charles is supposed to be? (Although it seems to be getting closer to NYC and Boston? since people can seemingly transport from one city to the next in ONE scene, yet days last week’s onscreen).

    Not happy about the insta-triangle Spinelli is being thrown into b/c it seems to negate all the growth that had been written for him. Poof! Gone. NOTHING is allowed to develop onscreen over time anymore, which stunts my buy-in for not just this story.The Michael-Sonny courtroom scenes are GOLD simply because of all the relevant history they are mining for it. And NONE of it happened offscreen. That’s why so many fans are loving it-they saw it all and lived it with the characters.

    One more thing-the Jason story is starting to feel like, “three hours til the movie starts so let’s wander around the mall for awhile to kill time.”

  2. Brette Sember Avatar

    I have Jason/Jake fatigue also. Too long, I almost don’t care anymore. And yes. It would be nice if they wore boots instead of spiky heels and maybe had gloves. It’s only -14 here (I live in Buffalo!).

  3. […] he and Carly moving in together if they are together? I kind of feel like Sonny could really manage Child of the Corn Josslyn. And I really don’t like Carly’s living room, so I would be happy for her to spend more time at […]

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