Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes 2013

Quotables: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Best Golden Globes Jokes

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes 2013
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes 2013

Co-hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey shot out zingers and one-liners that all hit their mark in their hilarious introduction at the Golden Globes, held at the Beverly Hilton on Sun., Jan. 13 in Beverly Hills.

Here are a few of those zingers:

Tina: “I wish you could feel the excitement.”
Amy: “You can smell the pills from here,” peering at the well-heeled megawatt celebrity audience.

Amy: “I very much hope that I win,” she said of both hosts being nominated for Golden Globes.
Tina: “You’re my nemesis,” she said, stroking Amy’s face.

Tina: “The beautiful Anne Hathaway is here tonight.”
Amy: “You gave a stunning performance in ‘Les Miserables.’”
Fey: “I haven’t seen anyone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on the stage with James Franco hosting the Oscars.”

Tina: “I don’t think she’ll make it in porn,” she said of Hathaway, referring to all the film’s close ups, although she really meant Hathaway’s wardrobe malfunction during the Manhattan “Les Miz” premiere.
Amy: “None of us plans to do porn.”

Amy: “Julianne Moore is here for playing Sarah Palin.”
Tina: “I used to win prizes for that too.”

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes 2013
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes 2013

Tina: “Ricky Gervais could not be here tonight because he is no longer technically in show business.”

Amy: “We want to assure you that we have no intention of being edgy or offensive tonight because, as Ricky learned the hard way, when you run afoul of the Hollywood Foreign Press, they make you host this show two more times.”

Amy: “Kathryn Bigelow is nominated tonight. I haven’t really been following the controversy over ‘Zero Dark Thirty,’ but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.”

Tina:: “‘The Hunger Games’ was one of the biggest films of the year, and also what I call the six weeks it took me to get into this dress.”

Amy: “Ang Lee has been nominated for Best Director for ‘Life of Pi,’ which is what I’m going to call the six weeks after I take this dress off!”

Tina: “Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.”

Amy: “Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu — and I hear she’s amazing in it.”

Amy: “Enough silliness. Daniel Day-Lewis is here. He’s so amazing. He’s so method. And This is not the first role he’s done for Steven Spielberg.”
Tina: “He played E.T. Do the finger,” she said to Day-Lewis. The camera panned to Daniel Day-Lewis, who gamely put up his finger like E.T. in the iconic poster.

Amy: “That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” This, after Bill Clinton introduced Best Picture nominee “Lincoln.”


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