HOME ON THE RANGE

Rated PG (for brief, mild rude humor). 75 Minutes. Judi Dench, Roseanne Barr, Jennifer Tilly, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Randy Quaid.

It’s a world gone mad when the livestock at "Patch of Heaven" dairy farm learn their home is headed for the auction block.

With just three days to set things right, three determined cows (Judi Dench, Roseanne Barr, Jennifer Tilly) and a karate-kicking stallion (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) set off to save the farm. Braving bad men and a rugged landscape, the animals match wits with a mysterious bounty hunter named Rico to capture greedy outlaw Alameda Slim (Randy Quaid), who’s scheming to take possession of the farm.

"Home on the Range" sounds like a great film, but it's uninspired, predictable, and bland. My kids – 9 and 6 – seemed bored, as did most of the others in the theater. Even the perfectly typecast animals – Roseanne as the fat, sassy cow, Dench as the model of British propriety, and Tilly as a gentle New Age space cadet – couldn’t overcome this stale dialogue. When Roseanne refers to her udders and says, “Yeah, they’re real. Quit staring,” it seems misplaced and contrived.

"Home on the Range" should have taken a cue from "Finding Nemo" and "The Lion King" -- movies that respected their audience, even if their targets couldn’t read the credits. The one bright spot is the music of k.d. Lang, Tim McGraw, and Bonnie Raitt.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 Reels.

Jane's Reel Rating System:

One Reel – Pathetic. Even The Force can’t save it.

Two Reels – Tolerable. Coulda been a contender.

Three Reels – Pleasant. Something to talk about.

Four Reels – Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

E-chat with me at jane@reellifewithjane.com - I LOVE to talk about movies! For more about me, check out my writer’s Web site, www.janeboursaw.com.

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