movie review
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World 4D
Jessica Alba juggles spy gig and family duties
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is one of those odd movies where nothing is as it should be. For one thing, Robert Rodriguez has helmed all the previous Spy Kids movies, as well as The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl and Shorts, both of which qualify as family movies. But he’s better known for his more violent movies like Grindhouse, Machete, Sin City, Planet Terror, Death Proof, and two upcoming Machete sequels, as well as Red Sonja and Sin City 2. Not exactly family fare.
A couple of other oddities about Spy Kids 4: it’s produced by Bob and Jerry Weinstein (not the first producers that come to mind when you’re talking family movies) and stars Joel McHale, Jeremy Piven and Ricky Gervais (ditto), with a special appearance by Uncle Machete himself, Danny Trejo (he and Robert Rodriguez are second cousins and often work together).
While I have a fondness for Rodriguez’ edgier work (El Mariachi is a favorite), I wasn’t expecting much from this movie. The trailer didn’t wow me, and the Spy Kids franchise is a little tired these days. But it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. The kids are cute, the special effects are interesting enough to keep me awake, and Ricky Gervais as a talking robotic dog named Argonaut is amusing.
The story follows undercover OSS agent Marissa Cortez Wilson (Jessica Alba), who’s married to Wilbur (Joel McHale), a TV personality with his own “spy hunter” show. Marissa’s also stepmom to his two kids, Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook). They’re none too thrilled with their new mom, especially Rebecca.
On the day Marissa has her own baby (played by adorable twins Belle and Genny Solorzano), she retires from the spy business. Jump ahead one year, and the last criminal she put away—time “stealer” Tick Tock—has escaped from prison with the help of a villain known as the Time Keeper. Together, they’ve discovered how to make time speed up – so fast, in fact, that time will eventually run out and the world will end.
The only thing that can stop this horrible fate is a mystical crystal housed in a locket that Marissa gives Rebecca in an effort to bond with her apathetic stepdaughter. Everything culminates back at the OSS agency, where the head of the agency, Danger D’Amo (Jeremy Piven) is working his own brand of spy capers.
This is by no means the best of the Spy Kids series. It’s rife with poop and fart jokes, including scenes where the bad guys get a dirty diaper and bag of vomit in the face. It mostly seems like a mediocre, slapped-together movie designed to keep the franchise going.
Gone is the witty banter of previous Spy Kids stars Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino, replaced by the zero-chemistry relationship of McHale and Alba. Fans of the previous movies will see stars Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara, but they sort of look like they’d rather be anywhere else.
But the movie does have a good message (family comes first, stop wasting time and spend it with the people you love), and the special effects are interesting. There are some cool gadgets, and the kids end up in a labyrinth of massive clock parts, but you never feel like they’re in real danger. They’re creative, resourceful kids who love a challenge.
The “4D” in the title refers to an “Aroma-Scope” card you get with your ticket. You’re supposed to scratch the accompanying number whenever it flashes on the screen. It’s designed for you to “smell” whatever’s on the screen, but honestly, all the numbers smelled the same to me. A weird, fruity aroma.
My recommendation is this: don’t pay for the high price of a 3D ticket at the theater, but if your kids liked the first Spy Kids movies, rent this when it’s released on DVD.
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