Should you bring the kids? No! This movie is rife with sexual innuendoes and crude humor. It's NOT a kid's movie. I took my 9-year-old daughter (it's rated PG!!!), and about half-way through the movie, she leans over and says, "Mom, this is the worst Christmas movie I've ever seen." I couldn't agree more. For more info, see "Bringing the Kids" below.

THE STORY: I think we can all agree that suburban life is hard. On TV, we've got mobsters, moms selling weed, and men with multiple wives. Not to mention all those desperate housewives. This movie continues the suburban-angst theme with two guys who really don't know when to quit.

Matthew Broderick plays Dr. Stephen Finch, a typical dad, blessed with an attractive wife (Kristin Davis), nice kids (Alia Shawkat and Dylan Blue), and a wonderful home in the peaceful town of Cloverdale. Steve is the ultimate "Mr. Christmas," choosing the perfect tree, putting up decorations, and planning everything from cards to caroling right down to the minute.

But all that ends when an obnoxious neighbor moves in next door. Danny DeVito plays Buddy Hall, a guy who's the polar opposite of Steve. He's loud and raucous and has big dreams, which have yet to materialize. He also has a beautiful wife (Kristin Chenoweth) and two shapely daughters (twins Sabrina and Kelly Aldridge).

Buddy is crestfallen when he discovers his house doesn't show up on Internet satellite photos, so he decides to create the biggest Christmas light display ever. When he plugs in his high-wattage spectacle, all the other houses on the block go dim. But he doesn't stop there. Oh no, he brings in real live camels and duct-tapes antlers on horses to make "reindeer".

Steve is none too happy about any of this. "Around here, I'M the Christmas guy," he tells Buddy, who just laughs and continues his misguided quest.

Things deteriorate into a testosterone-fueled contest of one-upmanship. Steve sets out to sabotage Buddy's display, but ends up inside the camel pen, getting slimed by green spume. He and Buddy have it out at a local carnival, wreaking havoc while their wives try to talk some sense into them (and the audience tries to find some glimmer of a holiday message in this mess of a movie).

BRINGING THE KIDS: 

PRESCHOOLERS (ages 2-5): I'm not sure if the reasons why this movie isn't suitable for preschoolers will fit in this space, but here goes: mean-spirited slapstick comedy; an older woman gets hit in the face with a snowball, knocking her over;  a gas can tips over and sets a Christmas tree lot on fire; Steve enlists his son's help to sabotage the neighbor's display; rockets backfire, setting a Christmas tree on fire (in the living room); women are dressed in skimpy elf costumes, shaking their booty (one of whom ends up being Steve's daughter, after he yells a sexually-charged remark to her); Steve takes a wild ride in a sleigh that ends up crashing through an ice-covered pond; two men end up in a sleeping bag together (to bring Steve's body temperature up)… Need I say more? Ok, just one more thing: Buddy's wife and daughters parade around in skin-tight outfits with lots of cleavage.

GRADE-SCHOOLERS (ages 6 - 10): See above.

TWEEN / TEEN (ages 11+): This definitely isn't a kid movie, but it's not an adult comedy either. There's no doubt that DeVito and Broderick are formidable acting talents. If only they'd had better material to work with. Unfortunately, this movie is destined to end up on the lists that also include "Christmas With the Kranks" and "Surviving Christmas". Sad.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 Reels