BARNYARD

by Jane Louise Boursaw

THE STORY: The animals in the barnyard take a Vegas approach to life, i.e. what happens in the barnyard, stays in the barnyard…or…does it?

When the lights go out in the farmer's house, that's the animals' cue to party down! The barn is instantly transformed into a nightclub, complete with gambling, a bar, rock band, dance floor, and mechanical "man-ride". Right in the middle of it is Otis (Kevin James), a carefree bull who parties like there's no tomorrow.

But Otis' dad, Ben (Sam Elliott), and an old mule, Miles (Danny Glover), think he needs to be more discreet about the fact that animals are smarter than humans. Ben goes over the rules once again (all of which Otis breaks): 1) No swimming in the pool; 2) No watching TV through the farmhouse window; and 3) Standing on two legs is only permitted when humans are nowhere in sight.

Apparently, cows occupy the ruling class in the barn hierarchy, and Otis is supposed to inherit the leadership from his father. But when Ben suddenly goes the way of all loving parents in family movies (he dies!), Otis finds himself in charge of the barnyard. Will he grow up and be a leader? Or will he use his newfound power for more tricks and cowfoolery?

Voices include Courteney Cox as Daisy the cow, Andie MacDowell as Etta the hen, Tino Insana as Pig the...pig, S. Scott Bullock as Eddie the Jersey cow, and Wanda Sykes as Bessy the cow (does this girl ever rest?).

Also, director Steve Oedekerk, who parlayed "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius" to unexpected success, provides the voices for three human characters: Mr. Beady, Snotty Boy, and Snotty Boy's Father. (Yeah, I love those names, too).

THE WRAP-UP: Compared to other CGI movies, the animation seems flat and the humor dated. Most of the jokes about humans' ill-conceived notions of the animal world seem lifted from "Toy Story".And the "father dies leaving the kid in charge" storyline is straight out of "The Lion King". Although this movie has a few funny moments (you can see them in the trailers), a little originality would have gone a long way.

PARENTS NEED TO KNOW: The "kids" in this movie (Otis and his pals) aren't exactly role models. They gamble, steal, drink (milk, but it's portrayed as alcohol), joy-ride, and say words meant as profanities ("Oh, milk me!"). The human kids aren't much better. Their favorite pastime is "cow-tipping" (sneaking into pastures at night and tipping cows over while they're sleeping). When Otis and his buddies witness the event, they take revenge by sneaking into the boy's room, tipping him out of bed, and laughing at him. Crude scenes involve farting, burping, and defecating. Also, the bulls in this movie are drawn with udders, a genetic impossibility unless you're in a Salvador Dali painting.

Be aware there are some tense moments when Otis' father dies at the hands of murderous coyotes after his son ignores the elder cow's wisdom and goes off to party. A tearful burial is held.

BRINGING THE KIDS:

PRESCHOOLERS (ages 2-5): Although cute farm animals that talk, dance and sing are always appealing to this age group, these particular animals aren't exactly role models. For some gentler options, tune your preschoolers into "Jakers! The Adventures of Piggly-Winks," offered on PBS, BBC, ABC and other networks. This series follows the adventures of Piggly-Winks, a spunky eight-year-old pig, and his friends, Dannan and Ferny, on Raloo Farm in Ireland. In the present day, Piggly is a grandpa, telling stories of his childhood on a farm to his three city-dwelling grandpigs ("Jakers!" is their expression of amazement). Of course, there are always a few life-lessons involved.

GRADE-SCHOOLERS (ages 6 - 10): Otis just wants to have fun, but his idea of "fun" isn't particularly good. He breaks all the rules set by his father, and encourages his buddies to do the same. But never fear – there IS a message buried in here, and it has to do with doing the right thing and acting responsibly when you're left in charge.

TWEEN / TEEN (ages 11+): Otis' behavior might strike a chord with tweens and teens exploring their freedom and starting to make their own life-choices. Also, there are some great voices in this movie and lines delivered so brilliantly that they'll make their way into your household conversation -- like the farmer's response when his wife says there's a cow outside the window ("It's a cow farm. You're gonna see cows out there!") And the pizza delivery boys' exchange when one of them accidentally pulls off the cows' fake arm through the barn door ("Dude, I got a arm!" and "Righteous!"). Still, this movie falls into the category of so many CGI movies these days. It has its moments, but could have been so much better.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 Reels

Jane's Reel Rating System:
One Reel: Pathetic. Even The Force can’t save it.
Two Reels: Tolerable. Coulda been a contender.
Three Reels: Thought-provoking. Something to talk about.
Four Reels: Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

E-chat with me at jane@reellifewithjane.com - I LOVE to talk about movies!

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