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Ah, the good old days when Edward and Lila stayed together for a zillion years
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Can someone tell me who I am?

Dear GH,

We need to talk. I feel like things are heating up with a promised reveal about what’s going on with Fluke supposed to happen this week. I’m still not excited about Luke having dual personalities, but will be interested to hear what Patricia has to say and find out what on earth happened a million years ago to turn our fine sometimes-hero into a raving lunatic suddenly at this ripe old age. GH, don’t disappoint me on this. This one has been a really long time in the making.

MORE: “Dear GH: We Need To Talk”

Speaking of the whole Fluke and Patricia scenario, I noticed that Valerie apparently lives in Olivia’s apartment (which we haven’t seen in a long time,but GH, I have a long memory). I hope Liv doesn’t mind her new roommate. I was really uncomfortable with that weird scene where Tracy was portrayed as racist when she was surprised by Valerie’s skin color. Sigh. Not cool.

I love that Olivia is pregnant, and Lisa LoCicero, the actress who plays her, is too. It makes for some bump size confusion, though (Olivia is barely three months along, yet Lisa is huge). Please tell me it is supposed to be ironic that Olivia is having another mob baby and is doing the same thing she did with Dante – hiding it from the father. Yet I don’t think Olivia has realized she is replaying this in her own life. I miss Olivia’s visions and I was hoping pregnancy would bring them back. They were just really fun. We need some more fun on this show.

I was a little surprised when Jake’s “wife” turned out to be Duchess Kate Middleton. Or someone who looks just like her, apparently. If she just had nude pumps she would be indistinguishable. And then the model Rick hired to play Jake with his pre-surgery face looks a lot like Justin Timberlake to me. Poor Rick. None of his scams ever go as planned, so of course this guy is jacking him up for more cash. Rick, maybe if you hadn’t mentioned what you were doing like 30 times, he wouldn’t have known. The whole thing is doomed, of course, since Jake still has the hots for Liz. I loved Molly getting Rick into online dating, but of course it just devolved into this scam.

I adored Carly charging in there and shouting at Hayden, demanding proof, and not believing it. I love Carly when she is brash and in full protective mode. And when she finds out Rick is behind this, she is going to be extra pissed. Go Carly!

GH, I’ve got a beef with you. I’m sorry, but the whole idea of Jordan wearing a wire to trap Duke was really dumb and outdated, especially since A.J. was able to just use his cell phone to record his own death with super great sound so we could hear Sonny across the room. And really, even if the cell phone isn’t the way to go, recording devices are wireless and tiny these days. Thumbs down on this storyline.

Nina and Franco. GH, I don’t know. I still suspect Nina is whacko on some level. Samesies for Franco. It was sort of shocking to see Nina in real clothes when she was in the courtroom. Last week, I complained about her permanent yoga pants, so hey, GH, you heard me.

I loved Spinelli and Sonny suddenly being buddies, but it’s odd because I remember Sonny always being annoyed with Spinelli and Spinelli always being afraid of him. It’s weird, but I like them together. The boxing match was annoying and chauvinist, but it moved the Maxie storyline along. And it kept Lulu and Maxie in different storylines, which is good because now that they suddenly have exactly the same color hair, it is distracting to see them together.

I’m sad that Cameron is the cause of the fire that landed Spencer in the Shriner’s hospital. I don’t like seeing kids get hurt, physically or emotionally, so I’m hoping that resolves quickly. I’m still mad at Nicholas for suddenly becoming a quasi-bad guy though, so he can sit in Boston for a while, for all I care.

GH, I really don’t like Sam and Patrick together. Their whole relationship feels fake and forced to me. I just don’t buy any of it. Sam is a wild, risk-taking, edge of the law kind of gal. Patrick is sort of dull and got mad at his wife for helping the Cassadines to save Jason. It doesn’t jibe. Please break them up.

I’m also not a fan of the Ava assisted suicide storyline. First of all, I can’t stand this cell-like hospital room she is hidden in (doesn’t the hospital want payment? Don’t they need her insurance? How can she just hang out?). This feels like another ripped-from-the-headlines reenactment to me. Is she going to move to Oregon or wherever so she can take her own life like Britany Maynard? And if she is dying, by the time she was convicted and sent to jail, it would be too late, so why not just come back to Port Chuckles and be with her family? I’m not down with Silas suddenly doing all this for Ava. From the time they introduced his character, he was at odds with Ava, yet somehow when she was preggers he became her BFF and now is hiding her. It’s weird.  And if he could just stop whispering. Please.

I’ve got a wishlist for you GH. One of the things I really, really miss on this show are female friendships. While I was not a fan of those stupid girls’ night out scenes featuring Robin, Liz, the OB/GYN Kelly or whatever her name was and whoever else with karaoke and that drink where they all licked their hands, there are just no real female friendships at all at this point, other than Maxie and Lulu. You need some more, GH. A girl needs someone to talk to. And shop with.

The other thing I am really missing is a longtime love relationship. I adored Edward and Lila. They were an anchor for the show and it was nice to see one couple that had enduring love. It’s possible to stay married yet have storylines. I miss this. We need a replacement. Somebody who doesn’t get a divorce.

Readers, what is on YOUR GH wishlist? Sound off in the comments below. 

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