When I heard the news yesterday that Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriages in California — was declared unconstitutional in court, I cheered. I’m pretty sure I cheered out loud, even though no one was around to hear me.
But my joy was short-lived when I heard that Ellen DeGeneres, who married wife Portia de Rossi a few years back, was being targeted by a group called One Million Moms, who protested her recent appointment as spokesperson for J.C. Penney. Over on my Facebook profile, I wondered what century it is again, and how come we haven’t moved past all this ridiculousness. Apparently, some have not.
But now I’m cheering again (it’s been an up and down week for me), because on The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday, Ellen addressed both Proposition 8 and the One Million Moms in a monologue that is so brilliant, I’m including it here in its entirety. I refuse to edit Ellen’s awesomeness.
Here we go, and thank you, Ellen, for being you. If you’d rather watch Ellen do the monologue, skip to the end of this post and watch the video.
“There was some good news for marriage equality in California yesterday. If you haven’t been following it, I’ll you catch you up. For a long time, same-sex marriage was not legal. Then, here in California, it was legal for like 25 minutes. Then it was not legal again because of something called Prop 8, which banned same-sex marriage. And I’m happy to say that yesterday an appeals court ruled that Prop 8 was unconstitutional.
“I’m sure the people who oppose it will try to appeal it, but it’s a step in the right direction. So I’m happy.
“However, it leads me to something else I’d like to talk about. You all may know that I’ve recently teamed up with J.C. Penney. I’m very excited about that. Not only because I think they’re a great store, but also because I get a great employee discount. And I could use some new t-shirts.
“I’m happy about it. J.C. Penney is happy about it. But there’s a group called One Million Moms that isn’t happy about it. And normally I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I’d like to talk about it because my haters are my motivators.
“This organization doesn’t think I should be the spokesperson because I’m gay. For those of you who are just tuning in for the first time, it’s true. I’m gay. I hope you were sitting down. I hate to break it to you this way.
“They wanted to get me fired, and I’m proud and happy to say that J.C. Penney stuck by their decision to make me their spokesperson. Which is great news for me, because I also need some new crew socks. I’m really going to clean up with this discount.
“I mean, if they have a problem with spokespeople, what about the Pillsbury Doughboy? He runs around without any pants on, basically begging for people to poke his belly. What kind of message is that?
“After J.C. Penney didn’t back down, I thought the story would be over. It’s going to go away. Heard about it last week, and it did not go away. The group has posted a message on their Facebook page. We’ll read it together.
“One Million Mom Statement: ‘By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon, J.C. Penney is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years. The majority of J.C. Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there.’
“First of all, being gay or pro-gay isn’t a bandwagon. You don’t get a free ride anywhere. There’s no music. And occasionally, we’ll sing ‘We Are Family,’ but that’s about it.
“Secondly, they said a majority of J.C. Penney shoppers will be offended and not shop there anymore. I’d like to read just a few comments from the Million Moms Facebook page. This is on their page. And not that there’s anyone counting, but for a group that calls themselves a Million Moms, they only have 40,000 members on their page. So they’re rounding up to the nearest million, and I get that.
“Anyway, here are some comments that people wrote on their Facebook page:
- ‘Love Ellen and everything she stands for. I’m going to shop there more now!’
- ‘Guess I have to start shopping at J.C. Penney now.’
- ‘Way to go J.C. Penney for not giving in to bullies. Stand your ground.’
- ‘I am a Christian and part of a traditional family, and I support Ellen and now J.C. Penney!!!!’
“I usually don’t talk about stuff like this on my show, but I really want to thank everyone who is supporting me. If you don’t know me very well, if you’re just watching maybe for the first time or you’re just getting to know me, I want to be clear. Here are the values I stand for:
“I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you’d want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That’s what I stand for. I also believe in dance.”