If you haven’t checked out ‘Dual Survival‘ yet, you’re missing some good fun. Plus, you’ll need the guys’ valuable survival tips on the off chance you’re ever marooned on a desert island, trapped in the Kentucky wilderness, or fending off hippos in the wilds of South Africa.
The Discovery Channel show pairs ex-military guy Dave Canterbury and primitive survival expert Cody Lundin, two complete opposites who often have differing ways to “improvise, adapt and overcome.” But hey, if they accomplish the same goal — staying alive — then that’s all that matters.
It’s must-see TV in this house, partly because of the hilarious Codyisms that come out of the Braided One’s mouth. I’ve collected a few below, and be sure to check out ‘Dual Survival,’ airing Fridays at 9 p.m. ET on the History Channel.
There’s still an episode or two left this season, and yay! It was just picked up for a third season. More Codyisms ahead!
Favorite Cody Lundin Quotes:
- “I feel like a tick on a dog.”
- “I feel like an hors deurve waiting to happen.”
- “I’m the Bernie Madoff of this spider.”
- “It’s like someone has your scrotum in a small vice.”
- “I know I look like a piece of sausage to those lions. A sausage with braids.”
- “It’s like walking through someone’s small intestine.”
- “I feel like a nude little piece of white meat out here.”
- “Because I don’t want to be wearing my scrotum as a necklace.”
- “It’s like walking on a 1970 blaze orange shag carpet… in a kitchen…”
- “So do you want a turd sandwich or a turd sandwich with mustard. I’d go with the mustard, but still, it’s a turd sandwich.”
- “Rat is a lot like duck, except with a wonderfully nutty flavor.”
- “You’re my depth gauge. If I see your hat floatin’, I’ll stop.”
- “Are you sure that’s meat? That looks like a penis.”
- “It’s like walking on a big sumptuous butt.”
- “So I’m pampering myself to a homemade stone pumice session, to sand down my feet … because I’m worth it.”
And these last two aren’t exact quotes, because I couldn’t fine them right off the bat, so if anyone knows the exact wording, please leave it in the comments below.
- [While crafting a spear] “I’d rather have sixteen guys behind me holding AK47s, but that’s not gonna happen.”
- [On Dave going barefoot] “Soon he’ll be wearing shorts and growing his hair out, and the transformation will be complete.”
Got any favorite Codyisms? Or Daveisms? I’ll have to do a separate post for Dave, because he’s really funny, too.